Confessions of a Burger Whore

I'm a burger whore.

No matter where the burger is from, how it is cooked, its condiments or lack thereof - there is something special about a pile of beef and cheese dashed with ketchup on a thick bun. From the snooty hotel burger to the cheap and tawdry Big Mac, the burger is all one could ever want in the perfect meal.

If I had to have a last meal, it would be a cheeseburger.

But where is the best burger? The burger that triumphs over all, the burger that simultaneously exists on both this plane and in heaven, the taste of which transports the lucky soul somewhere between here and Nirvana.

I seek this perfect burger. It is a never ending crusade, a personal odyssey, a quest that has seated me through power lunches, seedy diners, pretentious bistros and murky restaurants where white people fear to tread.

One day I will find my Big Foot, unravel the mystery of El Dorado, spot my Loch Ness Monster. One day I will discover the perfect burger.

Until then, the quest continues. What follows are ten of the best burgers you can get in LA. The list is ever changing liquid mercury, for the burger paradigm is forever shifting, ever fluctuating, never to be set in stone.

Until then, here's my list of the current top 10 burgers: (In LA)

#10. In-N-Out

It may have one of the smallest menu's in America, but In-N-Out gets the basics right - cheeseburger, fries, coke and shake. If you're looking to head into artery clogging territory, try the double double animal style with fries and a large shake.

My one complaint - I've never gotten in and out when I've gone to an In-N-Out. Expect a ten to fifteen minute wait.

#9. Bobo's

Another small chain that caters to a primarily Latino population, Bobo's is the proud creator of the bacon ranch double cheeseburger with mayo and avacado on fried sour dough bread. From the moment you bite into it, the burger slips and slides and threatens to fall apart.

It's an awesome burger - but make sure to bring a vial of tums. (health insurance optional)

#8 25 Degrees

Off of Hollywood Boulevard, 25 degrees is a 21st century diner with red salon interior, the burger place trying not to look like a burger place. They make an awesome burger, a mountain of meat on two massive kaiser roll buns. Unfortunately, the bread gets in the way of the burger, or otherwise I'd rank 25 degrees higher. (And no, you can't put it on different bread. 25 Degrees only has the Kaiser roll.)

Great burger, mediocre bread.

#7 The Village Idiot

Just off of Melrose, the Idiot is a Chicago style bar smack in the middle of LA. It has a variety of food, but you can't ever go wrong with the Idiot burger. Get it with blue cheese, get it with bacon, this is the idiot proof burger - you don't like their burger, you just don't like burgers.

Shame on you!

#6 The Burger Bar

Another burger joint just off Melrose, the Burger Bar lives up to its name and delivers a mouth watering culinary delight of beefy perfection. Best of all, go during happy hour and you can get burger, fries and a beer for $10. The burger bar did offer one of the best burgers in LA, but in recent months its slipped from its perch.

# 5 The Bowery (Burger)

The Bowery is off of Sunset about a block and half west of the Arclight theatre. The Bowery makes a simply delicious culinary treat of beef, bacon, pickles with ranch sauce all served on an English muffin. Small and unpretentious, all the food here is great, but for an added treat get the crispy sweet potato fries. Amazing!

#4 Father's Office

Father's Office is the grand daddy of burger joints, word of mouth has proclaimed the FO burger as the best burger in LA. The FO burger is a work of art, a half pound of delectable beef on a crispy baguette bun slathered with garlic sauce, the FO burger sets the gold standard for the LA burger.

But they don't serve ketchup. No ketchup for the fries, no ketchup for the burger. Father's office believes the FO burger doesn't need ketchup.

Wrong, wrong, wrong. FO to you Father's Office! Every great burger has ketchup. This snobby no ketchup no can do attitude prevents them from taking the top spot, no matter how highly they are ranked.

Sorry FO, you are so close, but no ketchup, forget about it.

#3 The Essex House

Another Chicago style bar off Hollywood Blvd near Mann's Chinese theatre, it offers a delicous alternative to the Hamburger Hamlet down the street. Essex House is a gastro pub with an amazing bacon blue cheese burger and delicious garlic fries. For the truly daring, try the onion rings, the best I've found in LA. Succulent, juicy, and perfectly cooked! Best of all: the happy hour prices!

#2 The Umami Burger

Kobe beef served on a buttery bun, the Umami Burger has gone from one to four locations in the course of a year. Umami was at first a bit of disappointment, but after trying the truffle burger glazed in light creamy truffle sauce I've amended my initial response. Umami is a collage of flavors that light up dozens of taste buds all at once. The sweet potato fries even come served with a slight coating of brown sugar!

Savory, mouthwatering, glorious! Go Umami!

Bonus: The coke comes in a glass bottle, imported from Mexico with real sugar.

#1 The Laurel Tavern Burger

Currently the top of the heap, Laurel Tavern was a complete and total surprise. Served in a metal tray, the burger's here are hand crafted pieces of art, done to juicy thick perfection on a crispy bun, the "old school burger" has slices of apples mixed in with the meat for a unique and sensational taste.

Did I mention the mountain of fries cooked in bacon fat or the great beer selection? Burger $8, Fries $3 - the Laurel Tavern is unpretentious and a bargain. I would have placed Laurel Tavern at #2, but they evidently serve burgers with bone marrow.

Anyone that cooks fries in bacon fat and serves burgers with bone marrow ain't messing around.

The burger, a meal unto itself, a culinary masterpiece that has evolved before my very eyes into a delectable meal. I may unconditionally love any burger placed before me, but the burgers on this list love you back.